A woman wondered whether she should attend a close friend’s wedding after reading some of the conditions associated with her attendance.

In a post on the r/amiwrong subreddit, she claimed that the wedding invitation detailed what she had to do at the event and that it rubbed her the wrong way.

She received a wedding invitation explaining her role in the event while her husband was able to enjoy the ceremony.

In her Reddit post, she explained that she was initially so excited to receive a wedding invitation in the mail because she loved attending weddings. The invitation was addressed to both her and her husband, and when she took a closer look at the card attached to the invitation, she noticed a strange detail.

“I took the index card and read it, and while my husband was invited, I was in another room helping to look after the children along with several other invited women. There is a special room for children in the church, and that’s where I was,” she said.

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Not only did she have to take care of the children present, but she also had to buy a dress for the ceremony in case she was to be seen in photos.

But for the reception, she would take her food with her and eat it with the kids instead of all the other guests. To make matters worse, she and her husband had to pay $100 each to reserve their spot at the reception, which included their meals.

To make matters worse, she is a 50-year-old woman with a disability and has to carry an oxygen tank for health reasons and uses a walker for long distances. While she is perfectly capable of sitting in a room and looking after the children, if something were to happen that required her to act or move quickly, she would not be able to do so.

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She should not be responsible for looking after other people’s children at a wedding, especially if she is invited as a guest.

Since her husband is free to enjoy the event as he pleases, it feels like a gendered decision. Just because she is an older woman doesn’t automatically mean she is okay with watching and taking care of all the children at the event.

If the bride and groom did not want the children to disrupt the ceremony and reception, then they should have either made the wedding child-free or hired some sort of childcare service to look after the children and entertain them so that all the guests had fun.

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She begins to wonder if she should even attend the wedding.

“My husband is not the one who has been friends with these people since childhood. I am. Why should he be invited to attend the ceremony and the reception, but I am not?” she stated.

When her husband found out about the wedding invitation, he immediately agreed to look after the children on her behalf. However, she assumed that the couple would not allow this because the agreement stated that women would look after the children.

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She wondered if this was common practice at weddings and whether she should call the couple and try to explain why their health concerns made the task difficult.

According to theknot, when it comes to childcare at a wedding, it is the responsibility of the bride and groom to provide a paid service so that guests can have an enjoyable time without being disturbed. If that is not feasible due to cost, they should consider age restrictions for guests.

“I hate having to pull the health card, but honestly… what were they thinking? I have to admit that I feel insulted and hurt because to them I’m nothing more than a babysitter who is expected to pay for my dinner and watch the kids for free. Would it be wrong to just tell them we can’t come and they should find another babysitter?”

Simply put, no, it would definitely not be wrong of her to decline the invitation.

She has every right to refuse to attend a wedding where – at least according to the invitation – preference is given to male guests, thus forcing all women present to forgo the celebrations.

A wedding should be about the couple’s experience, but the comfort of the guests should also be considered.

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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news and lifestyle writer whose work explores current issues and experiences.