The woman, who remains anonymous, turned to Reddit’s advice forum after confronting her husband with what she found on his phone – and was left even more confused and overwhelmed by his explanation.

Did she overreact? Is this really normal? Four months of emotional and mental turmoil finally led OP (aka the “original poster”) to seek the advice of anonymous Reddit users – who did a little research of their own!

Read on to get the full story and learn how she is struggling with the aftermath.

The harmless TikTok trend involved a woman comparing her own photos to those of her partner. Since her husband was out on his new phone, OP thought nothing of it and grabbed the old one he left behind to play along.

What she found wasn’t quite so harmless. “I looked through his photos and found nude photos of his ex, who weren’t even together. That means he’s kept them for over 15 years,” she wrote.

She further explained how laborious and dedicated the project was to preserve those photos as well, explaining, “Because they were originally in a fake calculator app, he had to manually transfer them to every single new phone he had (I think it was about 5 or 6 phones). To do this, he had to remove them from the locked fake calculator app, put them in Google Photos, link his Google account to his new phone, save the images to his phone, then move them to the fake calculator app and delete them from Google Photos.”

The woman then recounted her mental turmoil, noting, “That is, he had the pictures of my birth, our wedding day, his wedding vows at the altar, his marriage proposal (an embarrassing proposal that he was not aware of), our trip to our tenth wedding anniversary on his phone… the whole time the pictures of her were in his pocket.”

When OP confronted her husband about the photos, “he said she meant nothing to him and the pictures were just porn to him. He kept her pictures and the ones I had sent him over the years in the same locked folder and said he used them when he was on business trips.”

She quickly deleted all the photos from his phone, from Google Photos, from the trash, from the fake calculator app, from all his old phones – basically anywhere she could look for them. But that didn’t stop them from hanging around in her head.

“I always thought she was very pretty, but over the years I’ve had two children and a major health problem, so naturally I’ve gained weight,” she wrote, admitting the next day that she was in a “downward spiral.”

“I tanned myself, did my nails and hair, and took new photos of myself,” she admitted, adding, “I wanted him to find me attractive and not want (or miss) her photos anymore.” She also admitted that this had happened more than once in the four months since she first found the photos.

Although she admits, in a moment of paranoia, to having searched all of his electronic devices again, she found “nothing else incriminating.” The OP seemed a little lost and asked, “She was his first. Is it normal for guys to keep pictures of their first? Should I believe him that he only used the pictures as ‘porn’ since I didn’t find anything else bad?”

Well, as expected, Reddit users weren’t exactly supportive of the husband despite this explanation. In fact, the most voted up comment called his response a “red flag” in and of itself. “He shouldn’t be using an ex’s pictures as ‘material’ when he’s married with kids. That’s disrespectful to you and he’s tried so hard to hide them for so long,” they wrote.

OP inadvertently raised another “red flag” among Reddit users when she talked about her relaxed attitude toward pornography in general. “We’ve always been open about watching porn, and he knows I read and listen to it too,” she said. “He used to watch it in a regular internet browser, but since this incident he’s been watching it in an incognito browser, so now I don’t know what he’s watching or when.”

“Look… it’s weird that he’s watching incognito now,” one commenter immediately retorted. “So why?”

One commenter defended the man’s apology, but there was still a problem. “Personally, I find it very odd to keep nude pictures women send me for 15 years, especially when I have a wife, but if he says it’s just porn to him, I’d probably believe him,” he wrote. “I think what should upset me more is the lies and the hide and seek.”

Another noted that no matter what he says, “it’s wrong. I don’t give a shit. He could find someone who looks like her but isn’t her to jerk off to. Any of the thousands of porn models and actresses out there… but he chose his ex. That’s fucking weird and honestly I’d be hurt and ready to read him his rights too.”

In counterargument, one Redditor commented: “I guarantee that keeping pictures of your ex absolutely more often than people think,” meaning that this is a recurring theme on the forums. “The length of time he kept them is probably news to me, but that won’t be unusual in the future.”

Others asked OP to consider how the ex would feel if she found out what she just found out. “If this ex found out he kept her pictures and was still messing with them, how would she feel?” they mused. “I would be disgusted. For heaven’s sake they should be deleted for her because we don’t know if she’s still OK with him using her pictures for things like this.”

“That’s exactly what I was thinking,” commented another Redditor. “She’s a human, not a porn star. And I find it super weird to intentionally keep someone else’s nudes after a breakup.”

Others were baffled by the ex. One aggressively commented, “Why on earth would she care? Why would anyone care? You’re jerking off to a picture of me. Ok. I’m going to talk about my life now lmao. I don’t know why I needed to know.” They went on to note that this happens all the time with celebrities. “So bro. It’s a picture. It’s biology.”

One Redditor noted that after 15 years, the ex’s body “has also suffered the signs of age.” He further encouraged OP by telling her, “It’s just her looks, which should only be a small part of what makes him love you. Any imperfections you think you have in your looks are more than made up for by your personality, caring, love for him, etc.”

OP was happy with the response and commented, “That was great to hear. Thanks!”

All of this, however, was before Reddit users took the woman’s story a step further and dug into the forums. They found that she was sharing her story on the Advice forum at the same time as she was sharing it on the Husband forum… but with one big difference.

It was on this forum that she revealed her age. Both OP and her husband are 32. If he’s had the photos for over 15 years, as OP stated, then he was 17 at the most when he first received the pictures. Reddit users then speculated that the ex was probably that age, or at least around that age… and possibly a teenager in the photos too.

Her shock and disapproval at this possibility – which OP never confirmed – leaked out to both forums, while an even bigger outcry against the husband built. One commenter wrote: “He’s a grown man now. And I doubt the photo looks any older.”

Despite this controversy, another reader gave the woman some nuanced advice that did not necessarily mean she had to give up her marriage of over 15 years.

“A lot of people are mad at you because of your husband. I think it’s justified,” the commenter wrote. “I also think that humans have flaws that come in SO many different forms. Could he have had a bond with this woman and still loved you every moment of your time together? Oh well, he could have.”

“Forget the opinions of random strangers on Reddit,” they advised. “Communicate with him and get advice from a professional, both privately and together.”

What do you think?