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When planning a wedding, one common question is how many guests to invite, especially when there is a chance that you might upset family and friends.

In a recent Reddit post shared on the Wedding Shaming subreddit, a bride explained that she had a difficult relationship with her father as he struggled with her success. Since they live in two different countries, he offered to distribute her wedding invitations to her extended family.

“He asked to deliver the wedding invitations in person, so I made the huge mistake of giving him the invitations (no extra ones, just the exact number needed) so he could send them to a list of relatives I had made,” she explained in the post. “Communicating with relatives this way has always been his method, so there were no warning signs here. Plus, I thought this was a great idea since I didn’t have enough time to visit their country: a win-win situation.”

Her father then asked her for a PDF version of the invitations, especially for family members who live too far away to deliver them in person. The bride asked why he didn’t send the invitations by mail, but he replied that it was easier to send the invitation via WhatsApp.

When she later arrived in her father’s country, she learned that he had invited other relatives to the wedding, including some she “had never met.”

“Why? Because he said, ‘I can’t possibly go to relative X and not to relative Y, that’s not the right way to do it,'” she recalls. “I couldn’t believe it and was speechless. Then he showed me a message and claimed, ‘It’s your fault, you told me to do this.'”

The bride-to-be explained that the message “in question” was a text from her father asking if she wanted her cousins ​​at the wedding. “I replied, ‘Sure, I already counted them,’ and he used that as an excuse to invite all of HIS second and third cousins,” she wrote.

The Reddit user stressed that both she and her mother, who is divorced from her father, sent him the list of approved wedding guests four times. However, she claimed that her father “still did what he wanted and then blamed me for saying I wanted my cousins ​​there, that’s WILD.”

She later told her father that it was not his wedding and he had not paid for the wedding. If the additional guests confirmed their attendance at the wedding, she instructed him to pay for them and demanded an apology. In response, her father simply reiterated the potential consequences of inviting some cousins ​​but not all. However, she reminded him that she had invited her own cousins ​​and not his second or third cousins.

After her father finally apologized, the bride assumed that the family members he invited would decide not to attend. However, when two of her relatives responded to the RSVP, her father told her she should be the one to withdraw the invitation.

“He created this problem. I don’t know these people, don’t have their numbers, they’re not on social media, and I don’t even live in this country anymore. Yet he’s making it my problem. The urge to cut off contact and never see him again is strong and I’m ANGRY,” she wrote.

After she posted on Reddit about the wedding dilemma, many people wrote in the comments telling her to be prepared for some of the additional invitees to show up at the wedding without sending a response.

“Other people he invited may try to just come! Contact those who have confirmed and they may tell the others not to come,” said one commenter. They suspected that the bride informed her extended family that she has a strict wedding budget and that is why her father invited her on his own initiative. “They are therefore forced to tell them not to come,” they said.

Another commenter agreed, writing, “I have a feeling the people you are dealing with are not the kind of people who like to RSVP… You may have a bomb on your hand because guests showed up who didn’t RSVP.”