A Minecraft movie released its first teaser today, but it might have been better if it had stayed in sandbox mode. You might want to brace yourself a little before you press play: visually, this is somewhere between The Super Mario Bros. Movie And Emoji – The Movie. Maybe it’s time to abandon the “____ film” construct and focus more on producing quality films for children and families. But that’s a future project; for now, here’s what we have:

The first question that probably comes to mind when watching the above is “Why?” Followed by “Did they really spend their entire budget on the Beatles’ ‘Magical Mystery Tour’?” and “Why does Dwayne Johnson look like that?” After all of these questions have run through your mind — and if you take your time, there will be a lot of them — you may be left with one final question, if you even get to that point. (Well, after “Is this a Disney Channel Original Movie that traveled back in time from 2012?”, of course.) What the heck is this all about?

The trailer doesn’t make it remotely clear (apart from the fact that Jack Black is Steve, which makes it a little to clear), so here is the official synopsis of the film instead:

Welcome to the world of Minecraft, where creativity doesn’t just help you craft, it’s essential for survival! Four outsiders – Garrett “The Garbage Man” Garrison (Jason Momoa), Henry (Sebastian Eugene Hansen), Natalie (Emma Myers), and Dawn (Danielle Brooks) – are struggling with everyday problems when they are suddenly pulled through a mysterious portal to the Overworld: a bizarre, cubic wonderland that thrives on fantasy. To get back home, they must master this world (and also protect it from evil things like piglins and zombies) while embarking on a magical quest with an unexpected, skilled craftsman, Steve (Black). Their adventure together will challenge all five to be brave and reconnect with the traits that make each of them uniquely creative… the very skills they need to survive in the real world again.

At one point in the trailer, Black tells his new charges, “Anything you can dream of here, you can do.” If that were actually true, Warner Bros. probably could have come up with something a little better than this repulsive CGI nightmare land. Unfortunately.

A Minecraft movie also stars Jennifer Coolidgewhich we (thankfully) don’t see in this particular clip. The film will be released in 2025.