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    • McDonald’s Chicken Big Mac tastes like gravy and regret
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    McDonald’s Chicken Big Mac tastes like gravy and regret

    Idris Bevan Posted on

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    Okay, this has to stop.

    McDonald’s introduced the Chicken Big Mac, and just saying it out loud makes it sound like an abomination of nature. I mean, technically speaking, a lot of what they sell at fast food restaurants probably is. However, for the purposes of this discussion, we’ll assume that anyone who has bothered to read up to this point is a drive-in veteran.

    This means that you know that these two things do not belong together. What’s next, the McRib McFlurry? There’s the Bic Mac and there’s the chicken sandwich – preferably a Spicy McChicken, but McNuggets with a combination of ketchup and Buffalo sauce will do in a pinch – and the two will never meet.

    At least that’s what I thought.

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    The Chicken Big Mac is gluttony in a box

    Then I tried one. And it wasn’t terrible. It wasn’t great either. But it’s completely unnecessary.

    It’s a run-of-the-mill example of gluttony in a box, much like the Double Big Mac. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate a little industrial gluttony. One of my brothers ate 29 pancakes in one sitting (my sister had the girl’s record at 19). But that was an achievement. This should be a pleasure.

    What it really is, of course, is another shot fired in the so-called chicken wars between fast food restaurants. You have your KFC fans, your Chick-Fil-A fans, your Popeyes fans. I don’t have a dog in this fight or a chicken in this coop – although, as I said, I’m a big fan of Spicy McChicken, also because they rarely skimp on the mayonnaise. (I know, I know.) Every new wrinkle could mean an advantage.

    The Chicken Big Mac doesn’t seem to pack a decisive blow. It doesn’t taste like it either.

    So let’s get started. How does it actually taste?

    How does the Chicken Big Mac taste?

    Like all McDonald’s specialty sandwiches, the Chicken Big Mac comes in a box – a Big Mac box. Maybe that’s because of the time limit. Anyway, it’s big. Really big. The chicken meatballs, of which there are two, are fried in tempura batter and are hearty.

    If you know the Big Mac song – two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun – you might think you know what it says, but you’re wrong. Since there are no onions, the song doesn’t work. (Although I think the chicken substitute took care of that.)

    I don’t want to sound like a desperate politician, but a lot of people say that the chicken tastes like a couple of giant McNuggets. That’s not inaccurate, not entirely. The problem I have with this is that the sauce, and I had a lot of it, overwhelms the chicken in a way that beef doesn’t. The chicken doesn’t make a strong impression one way or another.

    Which is unfortunate for a sandwich called the Chicken Big Mac.

    And of course, any Big Mac, no matter what protein you wedge between the buns, fights hard because of all that bread. There are three pieces of it and it soaks up a lot of the flavor. This third piece is like a kind of flavor-sucking sponge.

    Of course that’s a lot. A whole lot. According to McDonald’s, the Chicken Big Mac contains 530 calories, 20 grams of fat, 4.2 grams of saturated fat and – at this point I started crying – 61 grams of carbohydrates. It fills in the way I would imagine swallowing a ship’s anchor would.

    But it’s new. It’s different. It gets attention (see this story for example).

    And I will never eat one again.

    McDonald’s Double Big Mac is back. So of course we did a taste test. That’s how it went

    Reach Goodykoontz at [email protected]. Facebook: facebook.com/GoodyOnFilm. X: @goodyk. Subscribe the weekly film newsletter.

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    Idris Bevan
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