A man wonders whether it is worth publicly confronting his colleague after she did not invite him to her wedding.

In a recent Reddit post shared on the popular “Am I the Asshole?” subreddit, he explained that everyone in his department was invited to their wedding except him. “I was personally told that the wedding would be small as they didn’t want to spend too much money. The others were told I couldn’t attend,” the post said.

However, when the bride returned to work after her honeymoon, the entire department discussed their meetings about the ceremony.

“A coworker commented that it was a shame I couldn’t attend; I noticed that I wasn’t even invited. I could see the bride’s face visibly change and now she is mad at me and our working relationship is friendly at best,” the Reddit post continued.

He thought part of the problem might have been that he had missed the dinner the department had planned for the bride.

“To support this, our department hosted a dinner and celebration for her and I contributed to the gift. The date was chosen and changed based on others’ availability, but I was unable to attend due to an overseas trip I had planned last year. There was not even a discussion about changing it so I could attend,” the Reddit poster explained.

“The person who organized it was another colleague and her best friend. I believe that this other colleague and not the bride herself is the one who caused my exclusion for some reason unknown to me.”

After the post was published, many people defended his actions in the comments section, saying that he was simply admitting the truth that he had not been invited.

“She can invite whoever she wants. Unless something really bad happened between you, it would have been better if she had invited either the whole department (including OR) or just a few of her closest colleagues. Inviting an entire department except for one person is mean girl behavior. Again, the bride can invite whoever she wants, but in my opinion that is rude,” began one comment.

“The bottom line is this: you were not invited. You corrected an assumption that you decided not to go.”

Another commenter agreed, writing, “What did she expect? Of course everyone would be talking about her wedding when she returned. And of course the one absent person in that group would stand out and be talked about. What did she expect you to say in response?

“If you want someone else to lie for you, it helps to tell them first. If you don’t tell them, they won’t know to lie for you.”

“Her wedding, so she can invite whoever she wants. However, if she feels uncomfortable excluding you, that’s her problem, not yours,” a third commenter noted. “You are under no obligation to lie for her. And it’s probably better to make that clear up front than to have to backtrack later. I mean, what if someone spontaneously asked why you couldn’t come to the wedding? Are you going to make up another lie about a spontaneous vacation that took you out of town, an illness, etc.”