What are some of the greatest physical human achievements you can imagine? A few quickly come to mind: climbing Mount Everest, eating 83 hot dogs in 10 minutes, walking on the moon, and throwing 678.2 IP in a season, which equates to a 1.38 ERA (Old Hoss Radbourn). Really pushing the limits of what the human body can do. Well, allow me to introduce you to pornstar Lily Phillips. Get ready.

A really difficult draw if you were the last of the 101 to be eliminated. It doesn’t get much better when there are a few people in there, but 101 is brutal. I’m not even sure if I should be more impressed or worried here.

Affected. Yes, definitely worried. Most worried. Shit looks like a war zone. First of all: How? It really doesn’t seem remotely possible that the human body can withstand such a strain. This is coming from a man who so incredibly lacks the experience to give you an opinion here, but from an outsider’s perspective it feels like it is destroying the human body. In many ways, Lily Phillips is the epitome of otherness. While I find the whole concept beyond outrageous and pretty damning of what society has come to, I’m also stunned at how she physically fucked 101 guys in 14 hours.

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The Wade Boggs 107 Beer Flight takes it to the top. But here’s the crazier, far more disturbing tidbit. Apparently the world record is 919 guys in 24 hours. A woman named Bonnie Blue has her sights set on this. Like Bonds chasing McGwire.

I have a question. I probably shouldn’t even bother asking this question, but we’re already busy with the blog, so what the heck. What constitutes sex here? Is everyone ready? Is it just a minute in? When 950 people are ready, I’ll call in the National Guard.

And I already had enough internet for today. I wrote this blog to distract myself from tonight’s World Series, but instead it has caused irreparable damage. Damned.