Before their wedding day, couples establish a specific dress code that dictates guests’ attire choices. Traditionally, these guidelines consist of commonly known dress styles, such as black tie or evening wear. These days, however, some future spouses decide to create their own dress rules, such as “garden party chic” or “casual beachwear.” In an incident detailed on Reddit’s “Am I the A——” on August 7, 2024, the bride’s sister refused to follow the specific dress code, so the bride of the hour kicked her out of the wedding. After gaining some distance from the situation, the former bride now wonders whether or not her reaction went too far.

To provide some context, the original writer explained that her family adopted her sister Jen when she was nine and Jen was seven. According to her post, Jen arrived frail and shy, a result of neglect, so her adoptive parents did everything they could to give her a better life. “Everything Jen wanted, she got,” the writer said. “When my parents asked me to move into the smaller bedroom so Jen could have my room, I was happy to do so. When they asked if I would let Jen pick out the decorations and cake for my upcoming birthday, I agreed.”

As the two grew older, the favoritism escalated and Jen continued to call the shots, such as planning Reddit users’ birthday parties and deciding which restaurant they ate dinner at. “If she didn’t get what she wanted, she would throw a tantrum,” the OP said. Although the woman notes that she still felt loved, the unfair treatment was obvious. She did everything she could to avoid being home and having to deal with their complicated family dynamics, from keeping busy with endless extracurricular activities to enrolling in a college on the other side of the country.

After getting engaged, the Reddit user finally got her turn to call the shots at her wedding to Kip. The first item on the agenda? Creating a color scheme. “My favorite color is yellow and his is blue, so my guests would wear yellow, his would wear blue, and mutual friends would wear green,” the OP explained. Jen, however, disagreed with the dress code. “I didn’t know this, but she hates yellow and it ‘makes her look pale,'” the woman continued. “She told me she would not wear yellow under any circumstances. I shrugged and said that was fine—I would just kick her out if she didn’t wear yellow.”

And that’s exactly what she did. When Jen showed up wearing a purple dress, the bride told her to “leave immediately.” When Jen refused to comply, the bride even threatened to “call security.” The rest of the day went according to plan, but afterward, the woman’s parents were “furious” that she had kicked Jen out. “They said it was cruel of me to kick my sister out over such a small thing,” she recalled. “I told them this was MY wedding that I hosted without their support, so I can kick out whoever I want.” While Kip supported his wife, the rest of her relatives are torn on the issue.

The overwhelming majority of Reddit users agreed that the bride was not at fault. “OP, you did the right thing by kicking her out,” read the top comment. “Her feelings about being able to dictate the rules for your wedding are no worse than you making those rules. In short, screw Jen, she got what she wanted in the end.” Many pointed out that even if the bride’s color scheme was impossible to follow, that did not excuse Jen’s behavior. “If the color yellow was truly the problem, she could have asked to wear blue,” another Reddit user noted. “Instead, she showed up in purple with the intention of outshining the bride and groom and causing a scene, even though she knew all along that her parents would support her.” Some blamed the parents for the situation, as they had enabled Jen’s behavior all her life.