Borderland is what an unworldly manager thinks the “cool kids” will find appealing: one disgusting saying after another that feels outdated as soon as it’s uttered.

Borderland sees a treasure hunter called Lilith (Cate Blanchett, TAR) reluctantly returns to her home planet Pandora to find the missing daughter of the most powerful man in the universe, Atlas (Edgar Ramírez, Jungle Cruise). It forms a team of outsiders: Kevin Hart, Elevator), a once respected soldier; Tiny Tina (Ariana Greenblatt, Ahsoka), a wild teenage demolition expert, and Tina’s protector Krieg (Florian Munteanu, Creed III); Tannis (Jamie Lee Curtis, The bear), the scientist who has seen everything; and Claptrap (Jack Black, Kung Fu Panda 4), a stubborn, smart-ass robot. Together they must fight alien monsters and bandits to find and protect the missing girl who may hold the key to unimaginable power.

Blanchett’s Lilith is introduced quite early on our main villainAtlas, through a holographic device that allows people to project their faces onto other people. The sequence itself is odd, but given the circumstances, you have to believe that was the intended point of the scene, which was to show how far apart the characters are from each other. It doesn’t take long to realize that there is something very wrong with this new attempt to launch a franchise based on a popular video game. This wasn’t just an awkward back-and-forth between two actors who were clearly not on the same set when filming. This was just how the rest of the movie was going to be.

On the way home from the theater, I tried to think of something positive to say about Borderland. I am a firm believer that there is something valuable to be taken away from any film, even the poorly made ones. I think the cast itself would have been a solid one with a better script and a different approach to the material. Although, speaking of approach, it is baffling that a studio would hire a director to Eli Roth (Thanksgiving) the keys to a franchise with evil characters and a cruel world – sensibilities that would suit him perfectly given his background in splatter films – only to tie it to a PG-13 rating. Admittedly, I doubt that an R rating would have solved the problem Borderland‘ problems, but one cannot help but wonder whether more creative freedom would have helped in finding an identity.

Instead, Borderland acts like A Protector of the Galaxy Imitation that comes a decade too lateLike any imitation, Borderland draws the wrong lessons from the many space operas it is inspired by. Instead of creating characters that make the audience loveable, which is why Guardian Factories, Borderland seems to believe that James Gunn’s success with his Marvel films is solely due to an 80s soundtrack and incredibly expressive characters that apparently have no off button.

While the soundtrack directly relates to the emotional journey of our heroes in Guardianwhich allows for scenes in which their feelings are explored, Borderland does not give us a single serious character moment. Our protagonists have no opportunity to reflect on their actions; they constantly shout at each other until the dialogues are drowned out by the boring background music and sound effects of the scenes.

Visually, Borderland fails to inspire awe either. Part of me wants to be biased towards the art departments here, because after all, the game’s world falls into the category of post-apocalyptic environments à la Mad Max or Stand out. Similarities to other IPs are inevitable. The problem with the film’s portrayal of Pandora is that, similar to how it treats its characters, The film would rather tell us what the world is like than let us live in it. There are brief scenes of Cate Blanchett walking through the wasteland: these scenes give us a glimpse into her personality, which is immediately interrupted by unnecessary voiceovers. There is a constant narration that feels dictated by a studio that isn’t convinced its audience understands the rules of this universe, and so chooses to have Blanchett explain it.

As someone who is familiar with the source material but is not a gamer myself, I can hardly believe that a fan takes something valuable out of Borderland. Yes, the games themselves have a fairly childish humor and tone, but as a player you still have the benefit of exploring the world, interacting with the colorful characters that inhabit it, and taking them out at will. Here you’re forced to endure the same universe, albeit without its actual DNA, and worse, you can’t turn it off whenever you want.

Borderland will be released in cinemas worldwide on 9 August 2024.