Summer is coming to an end and the “Working From Beach” (WFB) trend has reached its peak. Instead of flexible working hours that force many to stay in their kitchens to avoid the daily commute, thousands of them have been disappearing from their offices to Formentera or Spetses for weeks – all under the pretext of working as usual.

However, I would advise these WFBs to follow some simple rules to avoid driving their colleagues stuck on the sixth floor of an office building crazy with envy and the overwhelming suspicion that they actually can’t get much work done.

First of all, it’s obvious but often neglected: making sure no hint of the beach or sea creeps into the frame of an online meeting – and that goes for Instagram and WhatsApp snaps too. Any post during the work week of a mojito-loving sunset meeting will only confirm colleagues’ suspicions.

Instead, all social media activity should appear as professional as possible. Women should avoid bikini tops or sarongs. After all, work clothes are work clothes, even if you work on the beach.

Above all, it’s important not to show off your latest purchase from the Friday night hippie market. And men, this goes without saying but I’ll say it anyway, must never go around shirtless, no matter how proud they are of their six-pack. Beach etiquette, like all etiquette, is about making others feel good, not yourself.

For weeks, thousands of people have disappeared from their offices and fled to Formentera or Spetses, all under the pretext of being able to continue working normally (symbolic image).

The screeching of exotic birds, the inevitable rustling of tall palm trees, or even the deep rumble of Bob Marley music from the beach bar destroy the illusion that you are working.

It may be much more pleasant to take your laptop out onto the terrace than to join a Zoom call or Teams meeting from the small armchair in your hotel room. But the cawing of exotic birds, the inevitable rustling of tall palm trees or even the quiet rumble of Bob Marley music from the beach bar destroy the illusion that you are working and not just taking a break from a vacation.

A little summer tip: Use a mirror

Now that wearing short shorts has become the norm for so many, perhaps a look in the mirror before leaving the house is in order.

I wonder if some people know how sloppy they look. Not that all shorts are the same. Some men wear them with panache, but often we are confronted with clawed toes, grubby beige socks and a complete lack of understanding of the rules of proportion in clothing.

Tops and bottoms need to be balanced, so baggy, hip-length t-shirts and equally baggy, knee-length cargo shorts are only acceptable for skaters and confused teenagers. They should not be worn in the false belief that they will distract from the beer belly, which is perfectly understandable in any man of a certain age.

Now that wearing shorts has become the norm for so many, perhaps a look in the mirror before leaving the house is appropriate

Grey days for Starmer supporters

It is hardly surprising that Downing Street Chief of Staff Sue Gray is already causing a stir on the Starmer campus.

She has taken on the role that every man and woman in a position of power needs: that of the 100% trustworthy advisor. Power brings with it threat – and the feeling that betrayal and trouble can lurk around every corner.

Sue Gray may not be in the same league as Putin’s food testers, nor is she as controlling as Yoko Ono, who kept everyone away from John Lennon without their knowledge, but she is someone who, in Starmer’s estimation, is completely on his side.

Many others who have held similar gatekeeper positions (most recently Dominic Cummings for Boris Johnson or, think of Henry VIII, Cardinal Wolsey) are proof that the role is not one known for its longevity. Yet while the incumbent is in office, he also becomes a lightning rod for any complaints directed at his boss.

I wish Sue Gray the best of luck. The relocation of some of Starmer’s staff is probably the least of the dramas she will be blamed for.

Could Peter Pan II appear in SW19?

It’s been a summer for Tom Cruise – and when I saw him parachute into the Stade de France at the closing ceremony of the Olympic Games, I couldn’t help but think of the other Peter Pan, Sir Cliff Richard. Both have unusual but beautifully groomed hair – yes, Sir Cliff is now a redhead, but still… Both have slightly secretive private lives, although we know they share a passionate religious devotion – Cliff is a believer in Christianity, Cruise is a believer in Scientology.

And both seem to defy the usual stresses of old age – they share boundless, boyish enthusiasm and bright white teeth.

Perhaps Cruise, 62, will perform at Wimbledon next year and sing “Bachelor Boy,” just as Cliff, 83, once entertained tennis fans with “Summer Holiday.”

However, a jump from the roof of Centre Court might be a bit too much to ask for Sir Cliff’s eternally youthful doppelganger.

Actor Tom Cruise jumps from the roof of the Stade de France during the closing ceremony of the Paris 2024 Olympic Games

Ketamine Queen and an unhappy people

Companies spend thousands on a marketing position on logo boards, but not all such heavily branded backgrounds are ideal.

Auction house Sotheby’s may wish it hadn’t appeared as a major sponsor at a certain California event where the so-called “Ketamine Queen of LA,” Jasveen Sangha – who is accused of selling the drug that killed “Friends” star Matthew Perry – posed happily in front of the Ketamine Queen’s name in her magenta fur coat and Versace-style jumpsuit.

Library cards make them addicted to books

I occasionally volunteer at my local library in Kensal Green, north-west London, whose most loyal visitors are very young children.

You’re never too young to enjoy the joy of turning the pages of books, so congratulations to Cornwall County Council who have joined others such as Hammersmith & Fulham and West Sussex in giving newborns ‘My First Library Card’ when they register their birth.

Not only is it a nice idea to encourage a lifelong love of reading, but I also noticed that it is much more interesting for children to present their physical card at the checkout when borrowing books rather than scanning a QR code.