Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 45 years, and at ages 72 and 67, we both struggle with health issues. Our 43-year-old son still lives with us and has a low-income job. We are, of course, retired and unfortunately our health issues have made it increasingly difficult to manage our two-story home. Climbing the stairs to our bedrooms is a daily challenge.

I’ve lived in this neighborhood for almost 70 years and honestly it feels like it’s falling apart. Recently several houses on our street were demolished and demolished, leaving the area looking like a war zone. Even before, we were surrounded by squatters and other disturbing conditions. Mentally and physically I am rapidly deteriorating and I feel trapped.

We own our house outright, which gives my husband and son a reason to stay. But I can’t take it anymore. I am on the verge of a breakdown and the anxiety and depression that comes with being stuck in this environment is overwhelming. I know I have to leave, but I’m torn because I don’t want to separate my family.

How can I convince them that selling our house and moving to a healthier place is the best option? I’m desperate for a change, but they cling to the idea that we should stay because we own the house. The house is over 120 years old and needs a lot of work. Renting it out is not an option; I just want to sell it quickly and move on before my mental health deteriorates even further.

Please, I need advice on how to move on without tearing my family apart. We would be very grateful for any help or guidance.

– Two against one and Fading Fast

Love two against one:

First of all, I’m really sorry to hear that your neighborhood has experienced such rapid decline. The best way to move forward is to continue doing exactly what you are doing – clearly communicating your needs to your husband and son. Your concerns about living in a walk-up apartment for health reasons are completely valid.

Selling your home could be a solution that benefits everyone. With the winnings, you may be able to purchase a new home outright, reminding your husband that you would still own a property, just in a different location that benefits your health and well-being. Take the time to research neighborhoods and homes you would like to live in and work with a good real estate agent to explore options. Show your husband and son what is possible; Maybe they just realize what they missed.

People are often afraid of change, but sometimes change is exactly what we need. Your health comes first – both mentally and physically. As the saying goes, “Health is wealth,” and if this house is harming your health, it’s time to move on.

If your husband and son still aren’t listening to your concerns, it may be time to seek the advice of a professional therapist.

“How can I forgive my unfaithful partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology—featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication, and reconciliation—is available in paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions to Annie Lane at [email protected].

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