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After years of tabloid gossip and speculative memes, Shawn Mendes is opening up about his sexuality again. The 26-year-old, who has been dating Camila Cabello on and off since 2019, previously said he was “not gay.” During his performance Monday at Red Rocks Amphitheater in Colorado, the singer admitted that his sexuality had been the subject of debate because he was “really young,” according to footage from the concert posted by fans. “I think it’s kind of silly because I think sexuality is a wonderfully complex thing and it’s so hard to just put it in boxes,” he said, adding that “to me it always feels like an intrusion into something felt very personal.”

“The real truth about my life and my sexuality is, man, I’m just figuring it out like everyone else. Sometimes I don’t really know, sometimes I do,” he said. “It feels really scary because we live in a society that has a lot to say about it.”

Mendes then performed a new song called “The Mountain,” which he performed for the first time earlier this month. When he wrote it, it felt like an opportunity to address the rumors “in a way that was close to my heart,” he told the crowd. The lyrics also hint at a new sense of acceptance in his personal life: “Some days I have a change of heart / You can say what you need to say / You can say I’m too young / You can say I am.” too old / You can say I like girls or boys / Whatever suits you.”

Mendes addressed rumors about his sexuality back in 2018 in an interview Rolling Stoneand admitted that he had seen videos of fans analyzing his gestures and body language. “Deep in my heart, I feel like I need to be seen in public with someone – like a girl – to prove to people that I’m not gay,” he said at the time. “Even though I know in my heart it’s not a bad thing. There’s still a part of me that thinks that. And I hate that side of me.” Mendes was also at the center of a commercially fruitful love triangle between Cabello, his former pandemic walk partner, and Sabrina Carpenter, who reportedly wrote several songs about the couple’s short-lived situation. Although Mendes and Cabello split through coordinated Instagram announcements in 2021, the exes were recently spotted together at the Copa América final in Miami, to the delight of Shawmilla fans around the world.

“I’m trying to be really brave and just allow myself to just be human and feel things,” Mendes added on Monday. “That’s all I want to say about it at the moment.”